Friday, June 15, 2012
Lesson 156: Just Dance
Back to back big nights at the Lamp Post. Ellen's little league team won the championship last night, and tonight is the girls' dance recital.
A friend of mine owns the studio where both girls take lessons. Ellen is the leader for Natalie's class which includes my girls and two young ladies with Downs Syndrome. If you haven't ever had the chance to see a person with Downs Syndrome dance, you are missing out. They love the attention and can bust a move. How nice it would be to live that free from self consciousness! How great that Keri's Dance Studio arranges classes for children with special needs.
A few years ago, Ellen was getting older and becoming more self aware. Mother Eloise cautioned, "You know Ellen, there will be people in the audience tonight that may not know you. Your name is listed in the program with all the kids with special needs. Someone may think you are retarded. Will that bother you?" Ellen scrunched up her face and without a pause said, "If people think I'M retarded, then THEY are retarded." That's muh-girl. I am so proud of her for making something possible for her sister, that without her assistance, probably would not happen.
I picked J-Lo's new song Dance Again for the title more or less, and for the catchy beat. Lyrics are questionable so Moms may want to give it a listen before you show younger children this one. A cousin of mine from Ohio nicknamed me E-Lo. I love it. Someone gave me a nickname for once. I am sure I have many less than flattering ones that I haven't heard---so just keep thinking them in your head, thank you. I love J-Lo just because she's two years older than me and still a beauty. She makes big hair and a butt to match stylish and enviable. A photo of her taped to my bathroom mirror reminds me of that every morning. This is achievable, even in your 40's.
The photos are made up of random shots of little fluffy dresses and tap shoes from last night's dress rehearsal. There are also old pictures of my daughters from past shows. A picture is worth a thousand words they say. I need 998 more to add to "time flies."
Enjoy your weekend, Readers. Come for a visit, Slovenians. The weather here at the Lamp Post is always best in June.
Dance,
E-Lo
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Lesson 154: Shades of Grey--EY
The time has come. Discussion begins. Shades of Grey, of the "ey" variety, by E L James.
Here's the Brit that's caused all the stir---or should I say arousal:
EL James's book has sold over TEN MILLION copies in paperback, ebook, and audio book (what the heck would an audio version be like?). I have a paperback copy I purchased from Amazon in the beginning of May after a colleague who was reading the book made reference to it. This picture appears on the back cover. I found myself flipping to the back countless times, speaking to the photo as if she could hear me.
- What the heck, chick?
- Good God, Girlie.
- I don't know if I would have chosen that shirt for the photo shoot......
When I read a book, I usually spend as much time researching the author as I do actually reading the book. Every story is in some way connected to its author, and I found myself wanting to know as much as I could about this woman whose story turned her into an overnight millionaire.
She writes under a pen name, too. Erika Leonard is her real name. Wikipedia and the few other sites I looked at didn't list an age, but given that she's been married for 20 years and has two teenage sons, she looks to be my age-ish. Wikipedia also noted that she was listed in Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People in the World. Really? From writing an erotic novel?
I found out she worked in TV, and couldn't escape the fact that Erika has two teenaged sons. I want to ask her, "So, how's that goin'?" I am sure my school friends can't get past my line in the first paragraph, a colleague made reference to it. They are going to have a tough time guessing which one as I travel around to all five schools in my district. I can almost hear the #2 sharpened graphite scratching out lists of possibilities on left over 2011-2012 school issue tablet paper now. Could be anyone. However, I did give this person a great new nickname, which was so good I had to share it with her (if you are a good sleuth, you just X'ed off the guy teachers because I just wrote HER).
In my research I found out some really cool things. E L James was a Twilight fan. So much so that she was a participant in Fanfiction and had her own blog under the name Snowqueens Icedragon (?????). For those of you unfamiliar with Fanfiction, it is a site where stories are written about characters apart from their original works. For example, I could write my own version of the Ending of Lost, and freely put it on that site in blog form, with no hopes of ever publishing it. I am sure the legalities of it are complex. Just a quick look see left me confused. Only being able to read one out of every five words told this teacher that I didn't pick my "just right book" so I quickly clicked off of that section. I guess it is a safe place for writers to explore their creativity with characters like Harry Potter. It also protects the original creators of those characters from anyone destroying their work.
Apparently E L James/Snowqueens Icedragon had a thing for Twilight. So much so that she wrote something called Master of the Universe which used Bella and Edward as the main characters. Here it is:
Apparently E L James/Snowqueens Icedragon had a thing for Twilight. So much so that she wrote something called Master of the Universe which used Bella and Edward as the main characters. Here it is:
It appeared on a blog called Twilighted, and it was put up chapter by chapter using the input of followers. I checked the link now, and all material has been removed. It took some digging for me to find that picture above, so you'll have to trust me if you don't want to put the time into it. In this story, Edward was portrayed as controlling and stalkerish. Bella the awkward and innocent, yet totally in love, young woman. It became the basis for the book Shades of Grey.
I found an interview on line with Stephenie Meyer, author of Twilight. She was asked how she felt about her characters Edward and Bella being the root of the story for 50 Shades of Grey. Meyer admitted that she had not read the book but wished E L James good luck. Stephenie Meyer was quoted in saying "Obviously she had a story in her, so it would've come out in some other way" (if not as part of fanfiction). Meyer knows from personal experience that there is at least one story in all of us that needs to be told. But only a few of us have the ability to write it in a way that others would want to read it.
Meyer always refers to herself as a storyteller rather than a writer. I must agree there is a difference. Writers have more skill and hone their craft to perfection. Storytellers connect better with a wider audience and are often more entertaining. I sort of align myself with the former, and I think my readers will agree. I am sure you find all of my typos.
I don't always read my blogs back before hitting "publish". I hit spell check, but spellchecker doesn't have the brains to pick up correctly spelled words that are misspelled within the context of a sentence. Once in a blog post over a year ago, I found that I typed the word untie when I actually meant to write unite. I laughed when I read how it changed the context of the sentence. A pin on pinterest even exists about this. Look:
Choo! Choo! That freight train of a brain of mine just pulled out of the station. The word untie reminded me of 50 Shades. There's a fair share tying to read about in between the covers---of the book I mean.
Quit blabbing, Eloise! I can hear my sister Kenyan now. She wants to know what Big Sister thinks. She wants to know if it is worth the read. What she really wants is my copy with all the hi-lighted good parts and dog eared pages. Sorry, Kenyan. It's gone. Had to get it out of my house as quickly as possible. I have nosy children you know. In fact, it is already in route to A Friend Who Shall Not Be Named. When she receives it from the Jolly Postman later this week, it will look like this, gift wrapped just for her:
Yep. That's a necktie I tied it up with. An ugly snowman one. They are mysteriously disappearing from my house one by one. A Friend Who Shall Not Be Named needs a reminder of what snow looks like anyway. (Who's getting it next, Super Sleuths?) Get your brain working. It will get the blood flowing.
If you do read this book though, blood flow will not be your problem. My blood was flowing, that's for sure, along with some other bodily fluids including sweat, tears, and a few profanities. Yep. Bad words because the book ticked off Eloise. I got so irritated with the main character a couple of times I actually flung the book across the room. As it hit the wall and landed upside down on the floor crumpling the pages, I half hoped that the impact would knock some sense into Ana and the life out of Christian. Then I remembered this:
I found an interview on line with Stephenie Meyer, author of Twilight. She was asked how she felt about her characters Edward and Bella being the root of the story for 50 Shades of Grey. Meyer admitted that she had not read the book but wished E L James good luck. Stephenie Meyer was quoted in saying "Obviously she had a story in her, so it would've come out in some other way" (if not as part of fanfiction). Meyer knows from personal experience that there is at least one story in all of us that needs to be told. But only a few of us have the ability to write it in a way that others would want to read it.
Meyer always refers to herself as a storyteller rather than a writer. I must agree there is a difference. Writers have more skill and hone their craft to perfection. Storytellers connect better with a wider audience and are often more entertaining. I sort of align myself with the former, and I think my readers will agree. I am sure you find all of my typos.
I don't always read my blogs back before hitting "publish". I hit spell check, but spellchecker doesn't have the brains to pick up correctly spelled words that are misspelled within the context of a sentence. Once in a blog post over a year ago, I found that I typed the word untie when I actually meant to write unite. I laughed when I read how it changed the context of the sentence. A pin on pinterest even exists about this. Look:
Choo! Choo! That freight train of a brain of mine just pulled out of the station. The word untie reminded me of 50 Shades. There's a fair share tying to read about in between the covers---of the book I mean.
Quit blabbing, Eloise! I can hear my sister Kenyan now. She wants to know what Big Sister thinks. She wants to know if it is worth the read. What she really wants is my copy with all the hi-lighted good parts and dog eared pages. Sorry, Kenyan. It's gone. Had to get it out of my house as quickly as possible. I have nosy children you know. In fact, it is already in route to A Friend Who Shall Not Be Named. When she receives it from the Jolly Postman later this week, it will look like this, gift wrapped just for her:
Yep. That's a necktie I tied it up with. An ugly snowman one. They are mysteriously disappearing from my house one by one. A Friend Who Shall Not Be Named needs a reminder of what snow looks like anyway. (Who's getting it next, Super Sleuths?) Get your brain working. It will get the blood flowing.
If you do read this book though, blood flow will not be your problem. My blood was flowing, that's for sure, along with some other bodily fluids including sweat, tears, and a few profanities. Yep. Bad words because the book ticked off Eloise. I got so irritated with the main character a couple of times I actually flung the book across the room. As it hit the wall and landed upside down on the floor crumpling the pages, I half hoped that the impact would knock some sense into Ana and the life out of Christian. Then I remembered this:
Whew. Thanks for the reality check, Pinterest.
I like to read just about anything. Children's literature is always in my stack on my bedside table. But my favorites are the mysteries with some action involved. I love it when things blow up, people get run over, or someone is standing in the crosshairs and I have to find out who is behind it all. This was a different kind of read for me.
"Good. You need it. You're boring." That was Kenyan my sister telling me once again to lighten up. She's trying to tell me my inner goddess needs some work.
I like to read just about anything. Children's literature is always in my stack on my bedside table. But my favorites are the mysteries with some action involved. I love it when things blow up, people get run over, or someone is standing in the crosshairs and I have to find out who is behind it all. This was a different kind of read for me.
"Good. You need it. You're boring." That was Kenyan my sister telling me once again to lighten up. She's trying to tell me my inner goddess needs some work.
I read it Kenyan, but Shades of Grey did not light up my inner goddess which had to be the most overused expression in any book I've ever read to date. In fact, it ignited my inner angry. This book got Eloise all pissy.
Most of you liked it, so you'll be pissy with me when I dis some parts here in the next few paragraphs. Free country comes with free speech. Hope you worked that into your Constitution, Slovenians. I can safely say many of you liked it from the responses from my friends. I can also tell by the sheer amount of pinterest pins that exist which are related to this book. Here are a few:
Ok, somebody likes him--1,232 repins on this one tells me so.
Most of you liked it, so you'll be pissy with me when I dis some parts here in the next few paragraphs. Free country comes with free speech. Hope you worked that into your Constitution, Slovenians. I can safely say many of you liked it from the responses from my friends. I can also tell by the sheer amount of pinterest pins that exist which are related to this book. Here are a few:
Ok, somebody likes him--1,232 repins on this one tells me so.
This one is kind of funny. Could be possible. I had a Y2K baby. Her name is Ellen.
Some are looking for him. Best of luck to you.
Nap time has gotten a little more interesting for the Stay At Home Mommies:
Maybe a control freak would like this book. Perhaps find some sort of intrigue about one person having so much control, and the other person so willing to turn it over. It was bewildering to me and left me yelling at Ana to run for the hills. You're college educated! You're cute! You can do better than this! A Blackberry, a lap top, and a closet full of clothes aren't worth it! (well, on second thought, maybe not the closet full of clothes...)
What's better, you ask me? Better meaning someone who loves you and doesn't want to hurt you kind of better. I am a fan of the love that comes gently and slowly. A love that comes softly over time, like a pretty daisy that grows from the seed that was planted long before. The always wondering, he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not kind of sweet love. Not the hard and fast kind that shows up wearing handcuffs.
The writing is not bad. I'll give it that. I don't like reading a ton of dialogue or about flirting. That is why the Twilight series has been a struggle for me. But E L James strikes a good balance between description and conversation. The book is better than I thought it was going to be.
My favorite parts were the emails. This shows the writer has talent. She not only had cleverness to weave that into the story, but was cute with some of the titles of the subject boxes. We learned lots about Ana and Christian shown through their own writing in the emails. Cyberflirtation at its finest. The one on page 400 is very good and tells a lot about Christian through his writing. Very good E L James. Very good.
The end was tough for me, however. I wish the story would have ended there. But E L James was in TV before this career took off--writing or producing I believe. She knows just how much to give out, but not too much, because to keep her employed, you have to "tune in next time." At this, James is a master and it just made her a millionaire. The book leaves us curious about Christian's past. What happened to him during those first four years of his life that went on to sway his decisions as a fifteen year old boy? In turn, that leaves us all not just needing to "tune in next time", but BUYING 2 more books! We helped buy that ugly shirt she has on in her photo.
And it's not like you can go check them out of the local library. The librarians across the country have their panties in a bunch over this one (funny mental picture, must jump off that train to save this blog post). Issues of censorship have arisen again. Most libraries that are concerned and not allowing these books on their shelves have stated that they are preventing children from reading them. According to a recent New York Times article, the Floridians down in the Brevard Country Library System are in a heated debate in that hot state chock full of visiting college students and Viagra laden retirees. The Wisconsonians in the Fond de Lac Library System have taken a hard stance and have refused to purchase any copies. You've got to buck up the $10 to get your own copy.
What didn't I like about the end? Obviously the physical violence didn't sit too well with me. It's hard for me to write because I don't want to give the story away to those of you who haven't read it yet. In fact, this whole post has been difficult--how much to say, how much to hold back? I don't want to post a SPOILER ALERT on this, so I'll show you what I've done.
This:
I registered for an account on Fanfiction today. It's a place for nerds like me to display their creativity, I guess. Don't believe me? Here's the proof:
eloise hawking,
Welcome to the FanFiction.Net community.
To activate your account, please click on the following link or paste the link
into your browser:
I clicked the link and I am all set up....just in case I decide to do it. It's all written and ready to go, but I haven't decided if I'll actually post it. Eloise is a thinker and pokey by nature, so I'll let you know when and if I put up 51 Shades of Grey.
When I do, it is bound to circulate. Blogger has this cool feature where I can track my stats. Within the first hour of putting up my Lesson 153: Shades of Gray (with the intentional misspelling) I had 60 hits in the first hour alone, including one from the Slovenians! Look. I copied this from my blogger stats page where I track my hits. I can't wait to see how the other posts do.
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Did you ever have to eat your own words in life? How did they taste? Let me know because I'll be eating shovelfuls of mine as I now must read the other two books. I yapped at everyone who quit reading the Hunger Games because they found it disturbing. "It's a STORY", I'd say. "You have to finish it through to see how the story ends! You can't just quit!" I was so insistent. So adamant! Me and my big mouth! Open wide, Eloise! Got to take a big bite of humble pie. At least it will make for some interesting blog posts in the near future------and I can put off reading War and Peace for yet another summer. Alrighty then. I got some work to do.
Laters, Baby,
Eloise
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Saturday, June 9, 2012
Lesson 153: Shades of Gray
Happy summer, Readers. I am not sure what your school system is like in Slovenia, Slovenians, but here in the US students across the country are on summer break. This means that for a couple of months the schools shut down. Teachers and students bid each other farewell, and the crews move into the buildings for summer cleaning and repair.
Learning doesn't stop when the last bell rings, though. Children gain new knowledge through experiences in the summer months; car trips, family time, sports. Teachers are learners by nature, too, so after a day or two of some down time, most are back at it, taking classes, reorganizing, and planning for the next year. Many of my teacher peeps are readers, therefore for most of us, one of our first indulgences of the summer is opening the cover of that novel that you've been waiting to read.
As promised in my previous blog post Black and White, here are some books Eloise is planning to read this summer.
I'm in to Andy Andrews. You can see them on the top left. I loved The Noticer and will be blogging about that one soon, so I bought some of his other books.
I started The Selection by Kiera Cass yesterday. You can see it there in the middle. It's the one with the girl with the pretty, blue dress on the cover. My mom found it on a book list called Cures for the Hunger Games Hangover. Moms of the world, this is a good read for girls. A lighter version of Katniss. Sort of Hunger Games meets The Bachelor. If you thought Hunger Games was too violent, you'll like this one much better.
You can also see The Key peeking out from behind the stack. That is my book. I haven't read it back yet since September 6, 2011, the day I finished it. I'm cracking open the cover again tomorrow with my red pen in hand to make my final changes before I send it off to seek its publisher.
As you can see, War and Peace is still in the mix for the twentieth straight year. Still on page 51. Can't get past it. I get sidetracked every time I get to Princess Ellen wearing a dress made of moss. Eloise gets to thinking what is a moss dress? and go google "moss dress" and all that comes up are pictures of Kate Moss. Then I sit and wonder how a person can be so skinny, and the whistle blows in the freight train of my brain and I head away from War and Peace. Again.
The Language of Flowers is one that I received as a gift from two of my students last week. I opened the cover and inhaled deeply this morning. I do have an admitted overly keen sense of smell, but I did not think that I could actually smell the flowers that were on the cover. I just like the smell of the pages. The feel of the book is preferred to the weight of a Kindle for me. Plus, I can't read with my Kindle in the bathtub. I'm far too clumsy and that is one expensive slip.
As you can see, I am a woman of my word. I promised Tracy Southern I'd finish the Twilight series before the last movie came out in November. Eclipse and Breaking Dawn on on the slate. That leaves me two blood sucking novels to read this summer.
Speaking of blood sucking, that made me hear that train whistle in my head again. Blood sucking makes me think of blood flow, which reminds me of another book. It's been one HOT topic of conversation among women this spring. In fact, I think some of your eyes were scanning my stack for this one, given the title of this blog today. Hmmmm....what could you all be so curious about? Curious to see if Eloise has read it.
Read what, you ask?
It.
The book.
The one that sold TEN MILLION copies in just six weeks.
The most purchased book from amazon for a month straight....(so you don't have to go IN to the book store to buy it--it just shows up in a box on your front doorstep for only you to know about...)..............
This one:
Ahhhhh.......there it is, Readers. The one you've been waiting for, especially for you nosy ones that skimmed through all my boring words above. I know you pressed your cursor on the down arrow to see if the cover popped up, down the post a bit. If you read the book, that would probably the last downward motion you'd see for awhile, because everything in your being stands at attention when you read it. Eyelids. Hair on your arms. And other parts.
I can feel my interested readers going retrieve their coffee cups now. This blog post is bound to be a juicy one, so maybe you reached for a beer, or even a pack of cigarettes instead. That's okay with me. No judgment here. Whatever makes you comfortable while you settle in for a thinking session inspired by Eloise.
Now hang on a minute and quit scrolling down looking for the juicy stuff. My 67 year old mother who lives next door to me is healing a bum hip. She's my biggest fan. Helen's moving a little slow as of late and she needs an extra thirty seconds to retrieve those smokes of hers. I get the sense I'm worrying her a bit with this post. She's a fretter. Over the years I've found it all goes better for me after she has a couple of puffs because the nicotine calms her. Plus she can't whap me as hard when she's got a long, thin one held between her fingers. Let's wait, Readers. Do it for me.
Still waiting......
Give her some time.........
She doesn't like to miss anything..............
Wait, I can hear her door opening--she's moved outside...........
Should I hide?......
I'm whispering now, peeking from the curtains Gladys Kravitz style. Remember her? She's the neighbor from Bewitched.
(still whispering) Shoot, I can see her out my window. Can't find her lighter. Looking through my dad's Jeep for one. He always keeps one in the glove box.
Whew! Looks like she's got it....................
Thank you, Dad! Came through again, unbeknownst to you. You'll get an extra good gift for Father's Day this year...............
She's heading back inside...................
I think I'm safe.............for now.....................
Sorry to keep you in suspense, Readers. Now let's get on with it. Eloise's discussion of 50 Shades of Gray.
No......... I see you think you've caught me there. Teacher didn't misspell a word (oh how people love that). I meant the AY gray. Because before you move into any good story, you first need to teach the background information. It's a teaching technique. Build background information prior to the story. Time for your history lesson. (Just heard you all groan).
As for the spelling of the word itself, gray versus grey; spelling doesn't really matter. It means a shade of black. According to "The Grammarist", the "ay" gray is typically used in America and the "ey" grey is more often used in England. E.L. James the author is from London, so one should assume that this was the reason for the spelling on her book title GREY, although Grey was the main character's last name.
I did a little research on the actual color gray and found some fascinating information on Wikipedia. (Kenyan, quit scrolling down to get to the good stuff!) There are actually many shades of gray, falling into the warm gray or cool gray categories depending on which colors are blended into the black. See:
In fact, I consulted two highly valued resources--Wikipedia and the Crayola Crayon website. I made a list of as many shades of gray as I could until I got to number 39. Then my sources ran dry, no more names and I wanted to get to 50. Because I am an excellent namer of things, and have secret nicknames in my head for almost all of you (precisely why I never drink too much), I took the liberty of naming some myself. Here is the list:
Wikipedia colors:
1. White
2. Black
Proving my earlier premise that nothing is ever truly black and white--it is only a shade of gray.
3. Achromatic gray
4. Gainsboro
5. Light gray
6. Medium gray
7. Dark Medium gray (clever)
8. Gray
9. Dim gray (must have named it after the math light bulb in my head)
10. Davy's gray
11. Off-gray
12. Platinum
13. Ash (needed to add this to color correct my hair once from a dye job gone bad)
14. Battleship
15. Charcoal
16. Cool Gray
17. Cadet gray
18. Blue gray
19. Glaucous--had to look this one up--pale grayish-bluish green, something to do with plants
20. Slate gray
21. Warm gray
22. Puce
23. Mountbatten--still not clear how this relates. Homework: look this one up yourself.
24. Rose Quartz
Crayola colors
25. Cinerous
26. Taupe
27. Wild blue yonder
28. Silver
29. Steel Gray
30. Granite Gray
31. Smoke
32. Black coral pearl
33. Quick silver
34. Deep space sparkle
35. Mummy's tomb
36. Black shadows
37. Sonic silver
38. Eerie black
39. Timberwolf
Eloise's shades of gray
40. Bubbles the Elephant--after the elephant we used to have at the Erie Zoo
41. Smoke and ashes--after my mother's cigarettes
42. Stray gray--after my deceased cat Amtrak
43. Old bruise--I have several on my legs
44. Rotting tooth--just because I thought of it
45. Tar n Chip--annoying thing they do to my road every summer
46. Hook and Line--for Sam
47. Dustbunny--find several taking up residence under my bed every year
48. Stone cold--after my favorite ice cream that I rarely indulge in
49. Sinister--after the book
50. Flogger--read it and you'll find out
51. ????????---I thought of a really good one, but you'll have to wait.......................
Good things come to those who wait, Readers. You know what Eloise says, You can't rush a good story.
I know you're all settled in with your smokes and your booze waiting to see what I have to say about this book. But sorry. Gotta wait.
Just as E.L. James milked this story into three books, I too shall stretch my thoughts into a third blog post. Yes, I planned for three. Suckered you all; I admit it. The Black and White was all a set up. I baited the hook with the line shades of gray in Lesson 151 just to make you wonder. I dropped the line with this one, to add some suspense. Now you all bit. Tomorrow I'll have to reel you into the Lamp Post to read my thoughts on this very ____________ book.
Curious to know my adjective above? How about my name for shade number 51? Check back later to find out.
Later,
Eloise
Learning doesn't stop when the last bell rings, though. Children gain new knowledge through experiences in the summer months; car trips, family time, sports. Teachers are learners by nature, too, so after a day or two of some down time, most are back at it, taking classes, reorganizing, and planning for the next year. Many of my teacher peeps are readers, therefore for most of us, one of our first indulgences of the summer is opening the cover of that novel that you've been waiting to read.
As promised in my previous blog post Black and White, here are some books Eloise is planning to read this summer.
I'm in to Andy Andrews. You can see them on the top left. I loved The Noticer and will be blogging about that one soon, so I bought some of his other books.
I started The Selection by Kiera Cass yesterday. You can see it there in the middle. It's the one with the girl with the pretty, blue dress on the cover. My mom found it on a book list called Cures for the Hunger Games Hangover. Moms of the world, this is a good read for girls. A lighter version of Katniss. Sort of Hunger Games meets The Bachelor. If you thought Hunger Games was too violent, you'll like this one much better.
You can also see The Key peeking out from behind the stack. That is my book. I haven't read it back yet since September 6, 2011, the day I finished it. I'm cracking open the cover again tomorrow with my red pen in hand to make my final changes before I send it off to seek its publisher.
As you can see, War and Peace is still in the mix for the twentieth straight year. Still on page 51. Can't get past it. I get sidetracked every time I get to Princess Ellen wearing a dress made of moss. Eloise gets to thinking what is a moss dress? and go google "moss dress" and all that comes up are pictures of Kate Moss. Then I sit and wonder how a person can be so skinny, and the whistle blows in the freight train of my brain and I head away from War and Peace. Again.
The Language of Flowers is one that I received as a gift from two of my students last week. I opened the cover and inhaled deeply this morning. I do have an admitted overly keen sense of smell, but I did not think that I could actually smell the flowers that were on the cover. I just like the smell of the pages. The feel of the book is preferred to the weight of a Kindle for me. Plus, I can't read with my Kindle in the bathtub. I'm far too clumsy and that is one expensive slip.
As you can see, I am a woman of my word. I promised Tracy Southern I'd finish the Twilight series before the last movie came out in November. Eclipse and Breaking Dawn on on the slate. That leaves me two blood sucking novels to read this summer.
Speaking of blood sucking, that made me hear that train whistle in my head again. Blood sucking makes me think of blood flow, which reminds me of another book. It's been one HOT topic of conversation among women this spring. In fact, I think some of your eyes were scanning my stack for this one, given the title of this blog today. Hmmmm....what could you all be so curious about? Curious to see if Eloise has read it.
Read what, you ask?
It.
The book.
The one that sold TEN MILLION copies in just six weeks.
The most purchased book from amazon for a month straight....(so you don't have to go IN to the book store to buy it--it just shows up in a box on your front doorstep for only you to know about...)..............
This one:
Ahhhhh.......there it is, Readers. The one you've been waiting for, especially for you nosy ones that skimmed through all my boring words above. I know you pressed your cursor on the down arrow to see if the cover popped up, down the post a bit. If you read the book, that would probably the last downward motion you'd see for awhile, because everything in your being stands at attention when you read it. Eyelids. Hair on your arms. And other parts.
I can feel my interested readers going retrieve their coffee cups now. This blog post is bound to be a juicy one, so maybe you reached for a beer, or even a pack of cigarettes instead. That's okay with me. No judgment here. Whatever makes you comfortable while you settle in for a thinking session inspired by Eloise.
Now hang on a minute and quit scrolling down looking for the juicy stuff. My 67 year old mother who lives next door to me is healing a bum hip. She's my biggest fan. Helen's moving a little slow as of late and she needs an extra thirty seconds to retrieve those smokes of hers. I get the sense I'm worrying her a bit with this post. She's a fretter. Over the years I've found it all goes better for me after she has a couple of puffs because the nicotine calms her. Plus she can't whap me as hard when she's got a long, thin one held between her fingers. Let's wait, Readers. Do it for me.
Still waiting......
Give her some time.........
She doesn't like to miss anything..............
Wait, I can hear her door opening--she's moved outside...........
Should I hide?......
I'm whispering now, peeking from the curtains Gladys Kravitz style. Remember her? She's the neighbor from Bewitched.
(still whispering) Shoot, I can see her out my window. Can't find her lighter. Looking through my dad's Jeep for one. He always keeps one in the glove box.
Whew! Looks like she's got it....................
Thank you, Dad! Came through again, unbeknownst to you. You'll get an extra good gift for Father's Day this year...............
She's heading back inside...................
I think I'm safe.............for now.....................
Sorry to keep you in suspense, Readers. Now let's get on with it. Eloise's discussion of 50 Shades of Gray.
No......... I see you think you've caught me there. Teacher didn't misspell a word (oh how people love that). I meant the AY gray. Because before you move into any good story, you first need to teach the background information. It's a teaching technique. Build background information prior to the story. Time for your history lesson. (Just heard you all groan).
As for the spelling of the word itself, gray versus grey; spelling doesn't really matter. It means a shade of black. According to "The Grammarist", the "ay" gray is typically used in America and the "ey" grey is more often used in England. E.L. James the author is from London, so one should assume that this was the reason for the spelling on her book title GREY, although Grey was the main character's last name.
I did a little research on the actual color gray and found some fascinating information on Wikipedia. (Kenyan, quit scrolling down to get to the good stuff!) There are actually many shades of gray, falling into the warm gray or cool gray categories depending on which colors are blended into the black. See:
In fact, I consulted two highly valued resources--Wikipedia and the Crayola Crayon website. I made a list of as many shades of gray as I could until I got to number 39. Then my sources ran dry, no more names and I wanted to get to 50. Because I am an excellent namer of things, and have secret nicknames in my head for almost all of you (precisely why I never drink too much), I took the liberty of naming some myself. Here is the list:
Wikipedia colors:
1. White
2. Black
Proving my earlier premise that nothing is ever truly black and white--it is only a shade of gray.
3. Achromatic gray
4. Gainsboro
5. Light gray
6. Medium gray
7. Dark Medium gray (clever)
8. Gray
9. Dim gray (must have named it after the math light bulb in my head)
10. Davy's gray
11. Off-gray
12. Platinum
13. Ash (needed to add this to color correct my hair once from a dye job gone bad)
14. Battleship
15. Charcoal
16. Cool Gray
17. Cadet gray
18. Blue gray
19. Glaucous--had to look this one up--pale grayish-bluish green, something to do with plants
20. Slate gray
21. Warm gray
22. Puce
23. Mountbatten--still not clear how this relates. Homework: look this one up yourself.
24. Rose Quartz
Crayola colors
25. Cinerous
26. Taupe
27. Wild blue yonder
28. Silver
29. Steel Gray
30. Granite Gray
31. Smoke
32. Black coral pearl
33. Quick silver
34. Deep space sparkle
35. Mummy's tomb
36. Black shadows
37. Sonic silver
38. Eerie black
39. Timberwolf
Eloise's shades of gray
40. Bubbles the Elephant--after the elephant we used to have at the Erie Zoo
41. Smoke and ashes--after my mother's cigarettes
42. Stray gray--after my deceased cat Amtrak
43. Old bruise--I have several on my legs
44. Rotting tooth--just because I thought of it
45. Tar n Chip--annoying thing they do to my road every summer
46. Hook and Line--for Sam
47. Dustbunny--find several taking up residence under my bed every year
48. Stone cold--after my favorite ice cream that I rarely indulge in
49. Sinister--after the book
50. Flogger--read it and you'll find out
51. ????????---I thought of a really good one, but you'll have to wait.......................
Good things come to those who wait, Readers. You know what Eloise says, You can't rush a good story.
I know you're all settled in with your smokes and your booze waiting to see what I have to say about this book. But sorry. Gotta wait.
Just as E.L. James milked this story into three books, I too shall stretch my thoughts into a third blog post. Yes, I planned for three. Suckered you all; I admit it. The Black and White was all a set up. I baited the hook with the line shades of gray in Lesson 151 just to make you wonder. I dropped the line with this one, to add some suspense. Now you all bit. Tomorrow I'll have to reel you into the Lamp Post to read my thoughts on this very ____________ book.
Curious to know my adjective above? How about my name for shade number 51? Check back later to find out.
Later,
Eloise
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Lesson 152: Black or White
"Read it," someone at work said to me. "It's all there in black and white." The words that my colleague was referring to were political in nature, regarding the cuts in public education and general lack of support from our state governor. The newspaper article was shoved across the faculty room table. His finger tapped three times adamantly at the article, with the third tap being more passionate than the prior two.
I did read the article. It was more not so good news from the governor's office about public education. It was all there. Black print on white paper. Well, it was newsprint so let's just say white-ish. Budgets and money and lobbyists and rhetoric. It make for a tough read, especially at the start of summer. I took the article along with me, and promised myself I'd read it later. I had a few more pressing matters to deal with first.
Today was my first day of summer vacation, and in keeping with tradition, I went through my 180 days worth of lesson plans and looked back at all the things I tried to teach this past year. What made an impact? Where did I miss the boat? My list of Epic Fails were just a few this year. I get the opportunity to have my students year to year, therefore I know them well. Mrs. Eloise understands what they like and how they learn best. It's hard to plan for the future until you spend a bit of time looking back to reevaluate. That is what I did today, and why I was reminded of this song.
My theme for the 2011-2012 year was Black and White. Everything I taught the students each week had something to do with black or white and I somehow made it fit with the curriculum. In fact, every outfit I wore to school this year was black and white, too. I kept it a secret from the kids as I wanted to see how long it took someone to figure it out. Long about Thanksgiving time, the girls; Haley, Katherine, Kylie, Anna, Amelia, Madeline, Emily--the smart, observant ones noticed. When I made the announcement that they were right, and that I was planning on continuing this wardrobe challenge throughout the entire year, Ellen my daughter said, "I knew that. I just didn't say anything." I knew that was true because she's just like her Momma. I know lots of things I never say. Last September's lesson plans contained this 1991 Michael Jackson song, Black or White, which soon became a favorite of the Questies.
Give this one a watch if you haven't seen it in awhile. It will remind you how artistic Michael Jackson was. With the upcoming Olympics, it's a good one as it hi-lights several cultures. I put the 6 minute version on here. There exists an 11 minute version as well that contains some violent and rather disturbing scenes. Again, it gives you another glimpse of the puzzle of a person Michael Jackson really was. My favorite parts of the video were:
- seeing a young Macaulay Culkin
- NORM! I met a guy in college once that was a dead ringer for the real Norm. Never forgot him.
- 5:01 into the video the scene with all of the world's buildings--I made my students identify them all. Can you?
- 5:31 into the video the morphing. Pretty cool.
Is anything ever really black or white though? I mean, let's take MJ for example. Literally. Was he black or white? Did he have a skin condition or was he trying to intentionally alter himself to prove a point?
Eloise thinks that anything---any person, any issue, any anything---lies somewhere in between and is nothing more than a shade of gray depending on how much light you throw at it. I think that is what Michael was trying to tell us through song and dance.
Now that the walk down memory lane is over and the lesson plan book is put away, I can spend a little time on some things I like to do. Some longer runs. Some time with my plants. Of course focus on my own children. And my favorite, some extra time to read.
Check back in a day or so for Eloise's summer reading list. I've got one book in particular that I'll be blogging about, but the wording has been a bit difficult. I need some more time with it to get it just right. I hate to disappoint, you know.
Enjoy your walk down memory lane to 1991 with Black or White.
X0, Eloise
Now that the walk down memory lane is over and the lesson plan book is put away, I can spend a little time on some things I like to do. Some longer runs. Some time with my plants. Of course focus on my own children. And my favorite, some extra time to read.
Check back in a day or so for Eloise's summer reading list. I've got one book in particular that I'll be blogging about, but the wording has been a bit difficult. I need some more time with it to get it just right. I hate to disappoint, you know.
Enjoy your walk down memory lane to 1991 with Black or White.
X0, EloiseSaturday, June 2, 2012
Lesson 151: Come Home
See that tippy top window, Readers? That's the Lamp Post. That is where I am sitting right now. It is where I sit when I write. The Lamp Post is the one area of my house that I've designated as my own. Stephen, my computer is plugged in and humming on the other side of that window you see. The Lamp Post, Stephen my updated computer, and Faraday my now deceased computer are all named in honor of my favorite TV show LOST.
The Lamp Post was the Los Angeles Dharma station that Eloise Hawking was in charge of keeping. We found out later in the series it controlled time. Eloise in the series was a bit like Mrs. Who from A Wrinkle in Time. Her son was Daniel Faraday, who found the island because of his supreme understanding of math and physics. Eloise killed her own son when Faraday traveled back through time and found his mother as a younger woman. Killer episode, literally and figuratively--Season 5, episode 14. (Told you I know this show inside and out). After my computer Faraday died, I named my new one Stephen after the real Stephen Hawking--the real life physicist who the LOST writers used as a basis for some of the story line. See the next post for his picture.
Beneath that window you see is a window seat. I like to tilt back in my leather office chair and put my feet up on it during moments of inspiration. I keep my music collection here, a shelf of very favorite books, my Coke can collection, and my LOST memorabilia. The Lamp Post is littered with notes and drafts and post it notes (my favorite) and art work made by my children. It's the place I call HOME.
The video is set to the song Home by the new American Idol winner, Phillip Phillips. Move over Carrie Underwood. Phil just slid into the top spot as the singer of my favorite summer song. To dethrone Carrie is no easy feat. Great tune. Just my kind of music. Phil has that growly undertone to his voice which I love. He's been compared to Dave Matthews, but he's better. A Georgian with a heavy southern drawl and a quirky performance style make for the perfect combo on this one. It connects to you. Give it a listen.
While you are enjoying the tune, you will see some things that make my house a home. A little peek inside the Lamp Post. My daughter Ellen wants to give you a real look inside The Lamp Post. She begs me every day for her own blog she wants to title Life Inside the Lamp Post: The Truth From an Insider. She claims it is to practice her writing. The wise old mare that I am knows that her blog could be retaliatory in nature for all the posts I write about her. I don't really know if there is an age requirement for Blogger, and I didn't bother looking. I told her that when she scores advanced on the Pennsylvania State Writing Assessment, we'll talk. Although Ellen is an extremely good student, it is very hard to score advanced on this test. Usually only one or two kids out of a school are awarded an Advanced score. Then, as a mother sometimes does, I forgot all about it.
Come April, it was test time. I noticed Ellen was preparing for these tests as if she was training for the London Olympics. She was willingly going to bed and eating breakfasts for a solid week--two things she does not do without harping by Mother Eloise. At the end of a long testing week, I picked her up from school on a Friday and told her she could pick a dinner from my town's Fast Food Alley as a treat for all of her diligence and hard work. Ellen smiled and chose Arby's. We rode in silence for a little while lost in thoughts of the upcoming weekend. She then said while staring out the window, "I sure hope I get an Advanced........I've been thinking about what my first post will be......"
My fingers tightened around the steering wheel. Play it cool, Eloise. Don't react. She'll know she's got you scared and against the ropes. "I sure hope you do it, Ellen. You have a gift. We'll have to wait until September to see if Oz down in Harrisburg recognizes it." Lie. Lie. Lie. Mental images of unflattering photos of me, twisted conversations, and audio of me snoring flash through my mind. I concentrate on the road so I don't wreck the van.
My day of reckoning is coming. What goes around comes around. One day she'll have her own blog, no doubt. It's the way of the world and I cannot stop it. She will also soon be spending more time with her friends on weekends than with me. She'll first seek the advice of Emily before bouncing an idea off of Mom. And one day, she'll graduate and leave the Lamp Post to find her own fortune. But while I have all three of them home, I enjoy every minute. The truth is if I only had a tent on this property, but had my three children inside with me, that would be all I would ever need.
Soon, my trio will be with me day in and day out, home together all summer long. I will quickly stop sniveling at the thought of them leaving someday as I yearn for a little Me Time. In order for all of us to get along and maintain some sort of routine, the Summer Rules go into effect today. They are posted on the kitchen cupboards. See the next post for the photos as proof that I actually do this. Feel free to swipe this. No copyright here. Mothers--this will save you this summer. See below:
Non negotiables
Things you must do
because you are part of this family—no reward or recognition given for the
following tasks:
·
Make bed
·
Brush teeth
·
Put away your laundry
·
Feed/water dog
·
Unload groceries
·
Dishwasher
Opportunities
25 cent earning
opportunities for motivated children—paid in full when task completed to
parental satisfaction
·
Water garden/flowers
·
Fold & put away towels
·
Dust a room
·
Vacuum a room
·
Straighten shoes and coats
·
Clean out a drawer
·
Clean potty
·
1 lap around track
·
50 sit ups
·
20 push ups
·
Read for 15 minutes
·
Any other job deemed worthy of a
quarter
Fines
Children are
subject to monetary fines for the following penalties—paid in full by child at
time of infraction
·
Screaming any of the following
phrases:
o
you idiot
o
you’re stupid
o
you cheated
o
I quit
·
Arguing with an adult
·
Non verbal gestures of
disrespect:
o
Eye rolling
o
Clicking of the tongue
o
Crossing arms
o
Foot stomping
o
Gestures of the hand and fist
·
Punching an unaware
·
Belching at the dinner table
·
Public flatulence
·
Writing potty words in the
driveway with sidewalk chalk
************************************************
can't get this font to change back. Time to move on to the picture post. See next post for more pictures. Damn this blogger! Stupid formatting! The people who set this up are idiots! I quit this blog! WHOOOOOOPS! Looks like I have to go pay my fines. A buck already and my day just started.
Have a great weekend, readers. See below for more pictures.
ELOise
Lesson 151: Come Home Photos
Here is your picture guide of LOST characters:
Eloise makes her debut into the series as a rat. I loved it when my sister was power watching the entire series a few summers back. She'd call me almost every with comments. I loved reliving it all with her. I believe she had to watch 5 seasons worth to find out about the character Eloise. She made it to the episode and I wasn't home at the time of her call. The red blinking light on my answering machine signaled my attention. I pushed it to hear Kenyan's bewildered voice---"....You named yourself after a RAT????"
Later, when we meet Eloise, she looks like this:
And because Lost is twisted, even later in the series she looks like this:
Here is Daniel Faraday. I nicknamed one of my students Faraday, but he doesn't know it.
This is the Lamp Post Dharma Station. On the floor is a map of the world. In the middle is the swinging pendulum.
The Lamp Post is hidden in the basement of a church.
This is the real Stephen Hawking. More on him this summer. He deserves his own post.
This is my dog who had surgery this week to remove a 4.4 pound tumor from her neck. Thank you Dr. Amy Keith in North East.
Eloise makes her debut into the series as a rat. I loved it when my sister was power watching the entire series a few summers back. She'd call me almost every with comments. I loved reliving it all with her. I believe she had to watch 5 seasons worth to find out about the character Eloise. She made it to the episode and I wasn't home at the time of her call. The red blinking light on my answering machine signaled my attention. I pushed it to hear Kenyan's bewildered voice---"....You named yourself after a RAT????"
Later, when we meet Eloise, she looks like this:
And because Lost is twisted, even later in the series she looks like this:
Here is Daniel Faraday. I nicknamed one of my students Faraday, but he doesn't know it.
This is the Lamp Post Dharma Station. On the floor is a map of the world. In the middle is the swinging pendulum.
The Lamp Post is hidden in the basement of a church.
This is the real Stephen Hawking. More on him this summer. He deserves his own post.
This is my dog who had surgery this week to remove a 4.4 pound tumor from her neck. Thank you Dr. Amy Keith in North East.
She is wearing a t-shirt to cover her drainage tube and 25 staples to protect her from infection and her mother from vomiting. I had forgotten how squeamish I am. I saw droplets of blood and discharge on the kitchen floor and had to stand very still for a few seconds and think happy thoughts (summer vacation summer vacation summer vacation) to steady myself. There is a reason I am a teacher and not am E.M.T.
She sleeps in the girls' old toddler bed in my bedroom. Another peek inside the Lamp Post.
And for the biggest news of the weekend............Sam graduated from Preschool!!!! Thank you so much Miss Barb! He/We couldn't have done it without you.
Check out the tube socks on this one.
Summer rules: Effective June 2, 2012
Enjoy your weekend HOME readers. Make it sweet. Even if you have to post a few rules.
Eloise
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