Lesson 188: Rear Ended

Read about rear ends this weekend, Readers!

This weekend is all about butts and backsides today.  From races and rear ends, to bumper stickers and butts, I make it all work.  See how below:

Slovenian followers, this is my lake, Lake Erie, the shallowest of the 5 Great Lakes.  My daughters and I, as well as some friends and family ran a race here on Saturday called the Her Times.  

It was 51 degrees and windy when we arrived for the race.  Not a great weekend for a picnic.

The beaches were empty.

That's because everyone was lining up on the road to run a 5K race just for women that my friend Heather organized.  Nobody cared about the weather.  Women are tough and we'll run through anything.

I knew it was going to be a good one, because this was the number I got.  Triple 3's.  My favorite!  

This was the trio I ran with:  Natalie, my sister-in-law Jean, and Ellen.

This was Jean's first 5K!

The sun broke through as it always does,

And we made it 3.1 and were the better for it thirty something minutes later.

I carried my camera with me this time.  I was able to snap some shots of runners and onlookers.  I saw Nicole this weekend.  It was her first race.  I've been following her for awhile.  She practices in the park behind my house.  I knew she'd be there.  I lost her at the finish line, but congratulations go out to her in this way.  I'll see you next year, Nicole.  Bring your daughter to the race and let her trot beside you or cheer you on like this little girl.  Her sign read GO Mama!  She signed her name Madison (with a backwards S) and put princess stickers all over it.

Madison, I am sure your mommy wasn't wearing Cinderella's gown on Saturday, but she is a princess just the same.  Today a woman can be a princess AND wear running shoes according to this pinterest pin:

Although, this mother-daughter duo found a way to do both:

My sister Karen is a runner, too.  I have nicknamed her Kenyan because she is so fast.  She runs like this:

This is what you look like when you run like that.  Notice there are no runners around her because she's usually first in her age group.  

We never run together because she can stand to run with me.  She says I am too slow.  This is a picture a friend snapped this summer of Kenyan pushing me through the finish line.  "Run through the chute!" Kenyan yelled at me.  "Touch me again and I am going to shoot you!" I yelled back.  

**Note to the Slovenians--chute and shoot--homonyms--sound alike but have different meanings.  Eloise was making a humorous statement that as a foreign follower you may not understand.  No worries, lots of us over here in the United States don't get it either.  I know, I am a teacher.

I make no apologies for finishing ten minutes behind her.  This is my motto.

The girl who snapped that finish line picture is Jen.  She is the mom of two teenaged boys.  She was lined up with Nicole at the start of the race.  It was her first 5K, too!  

I hope you stick with it Nicole and Jen.  There is no drug, no cigarette, and yes, I know, no bottle of Rolling Rock that can ease tension like running can.  Couple that with a prayer when you start out and one when you finish, and your life will be changed.  In fact, in the times that your resolve wanes, go to this site for a fuel up:

I think there must be something that motivates a mother to run who lives in a house with all men.  My friend Tracy Northern is out to prove herself right now as I am typing this.  She is running the Chicago marathon this weekend.  Looking at the snapshot of this crowd gives me hives.  I can't stand crowds like that.

For any of you who always wanted to try running and think you can't do it, I urge you to contact me and I'll connect you to Northern.  She's a working mom like me, 41 years old, is raising thee sons, and never was a stand out athlete.  She made up her mind a couple of years ago to try running for something to do to stay healthy, and in a few short years, she's running the Chicago Marathon this morning.  What an inspiration!

This is the bumper sticker we got for finishing the Her Times 5K yesterday:

Like crowds, I'm not much for bumper stickers either.  I got one for running the half marathon and I stuck it to my refrigerator.  I can't escape the thought of me getting out of my van in the grocery store parking lot, and have some hater see the sticker.  As I walk into the store and they view my backside they may think to themselves, That chick runs?  

Bumper stickers have become a thing of the past, though. We don't see them as often as we once did. I remember seeing lots of them as I rode a seatbeltless shotgun,  in the 1970's.  I still see some every now and again.

My dad put this one on the back of his jeep  (see me?):

This magnet is stuck to the back of my hubby's truck (see me again?):

A bumper sticker kind of gives the world a quick peek of who you are.  It sends a message.  For the aforementioned men in my life, the messages they are trying to send are accurate.

The modernized American doesn't really need a bumper sticker to let the world know who they are if they use facebook.  That is a means of letting someone know all about you with a quick look.  I guess that is why the men in my life still use the bumper sticker approach as neither are facebook users.

Eloise advises this:  take a close look at your facebook page if you have one.  View it through the eyes of a stranger or someone who barely knows you.  What would they see?  What impression are you trying to give?  Check your spelling, verb tense, and plurals.  Nothing can make one look more stupid than bad grammar (see students, I told you doing your grammar packet would have some value someday....if you don't you'll look like an idiot on facebook...how is that for motivation?).  Do your posts give hidden innuendos or sexual connotations?  Do you slam people?  Look militant?  Like to tell people how it is when you fail to realize we live in a free country with 313 million people and we have many ideas and viewpoints.  The best advice I ever received regarding facebook was to "friend" your children, your boss, and your pastor.  That keeps you legit.  My children do not have accounts, but thanks Kelly, Donna, and Pastor Keith.  You are always on my mind with every post.

Let's take the upcoming United States Presidential Election for example.  Man is this country divided again!  In the last debate, analysts say that Romney won it.  I would have to agree, because the person playing from the rear does try a little harder.  They run a little faster because they see what lies ahead of them and they want it really badly.  The person in the lead often doesn't see what's coming after them.

Romney has dropped a bit in the poles last week and is playing from the back according to the poles.   A hidden camera video taped to a chair at a private fundraiser revealed some truths that Mr. Romney may have preferred to have kept to himself given the stakes of the game he's playing.  Thank you David Corn, political writer for the Mother Jones website.  In blue are his words taken from his September 17, 2012 post.  You can view the actual video footage there if you are so inclined.

During a private fundraiser earlier this year, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney told a small group of wealthy contributors what he truly thinks of all the voters who support President Barack Obama. He dismissed these Americans as freeloaders who pay no taxes, who don't assume responsibility for their lives, and who think government should take care of them. Fielding a question from a donor about how he could triumph in November, Romney replied:

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that's an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax.

Romney went on: "[M]y job is is not to worry about those people. I'll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives."

And in keeping with American tradition, here was the bumper sticker response to that statement.  I actually saw one the other day.  I had my camera and wanted to snap a picture of it for you, but I was driving.  Safety First!

That prompted me to look for some more bumper stickers to see what would be riding on the rear ends of American commuters for the next month.  Here are some traditional ones.  These released from President Obama:

These from the Romney camp:

And of course we have some out from each camp that are not as clean and neat.  This command, issued from Mr. Romney:

And this warning from our current president:

You can tell two things as this person drives by your house:  who he is voting for and what his profession is.

Someone must have seen this guy drive by, because they made this one in response:

Some people display their opinions based on an issue.  Eloise has no idea what this is about.  I have not been following this one.  I'll do the research later, but had to share these issue related bumper stickers just the same:

Or this one????

Some issues are closer to my heart, like this one:

Don't assume make assumptions about teachers, Readers.  Some are supporting Romney, too.  Look:

In fact, don't ever make assumptions based on what you think you know, Readers.  Many of your assumptions may be false.  You know what they say about assumptions, they only make an ass out of you and me.  Eloise is this:

I am one of the five percent who is taking their sweet old time listening, watching, and waiting.  If you know me, it is hard for me to be rushed.  I get crabby.  It takes me forever to make up my mind about something, but once I do, there is no changing it, and my feelings never change.  

Eloise is now mature enough to realize that a vote is a formula:  a wager on who will support the issues you hold most dear PLUS the circumstances of the times.  It's kind of like saying "I do" at a wedding.  Would W. Bush's presidency been different if we wouldn't have taken one in the chops on September 11, 2001?  What about Jimmy Carter and the hostage crisis?  Would we look back on him differently if circumstances beyond our control didn't happen?

I'm watching and listening and weighing my options.  Eloise wants to be romanced.  Convince me.  Make me sure this my vote is the right decision for this country I love.  This would be a good bumper sticker for me and the 5% like me:

This election is important and more than a black man running against a Mormon.  There are even bumper stickers in response to that:

And from the brave souls out in Utah.......

Or you can be disgruntled in our government all together and display this bumper sticker as Mr. Optimistic did:

On a lighter note to end this post, we went bridesmaid dress shopping for neighbor Amy's wedding.  You can pick out the glowing Bride-To-Be. She's on the right.  She's 100% sure she's made the right choice.

We did what all girls do when they dress shop, jeans shop, or (gag) bathing suit shop.  We ask each other the age old question:  Does my butt look big in this?

Amy and the girls had fun dress shopping:

And shoe shopping:

And telling each other candidly what dress made your butt look too big.

I won't reveal the dresses, as I am sure Amy wants the element of surprise on her wedding day.  Eloise will tell you this:  the dress has POCKETS!!!

And that we WON'T be getting this one.  It was all of our first pick, but the price tag read $1,300.  That's 997 Euros, Slovenians.  And Americans--if you cringed, you should have.  That's a problem for us.  You do the math.  That's why you need to pay attention and vote.

I guess this became somewhat of an "all girl" post this weekend given the nature of events on Saturday.  I'd be remiss in leaving out Sam however.  He hung out with Delaney at the Harvest Festival behind my house and got this balloon monkey in the Kid's Tent.

He spent the rest of the night having the monkey shoot us the Blue Moon (along with some accompanying noises, too).

Boys.  They are gross.  We love them.  We hate them.  And we can't live without them.  And I'll bet you that  in some way "boys" were the motivation behind why the 791 of us were running in the Her Times.  Well, that and the fact that we all wouldn't mind looking smokin' hot in a pair of low rise jeans.

Run on readers, and you too, Northern.  As of this posting, you have about 3 hours to go!
Eloise