Friday, February 8, 2013

Lesson 213: Sweet Brown

The title of this blog is Sweet Brown, but it should really be More White.  More snow in the forecast for my Lake Erie hometown, but it's not quite the dumping the east coast is getting at the moment.  I can't wait to see how much of the white stuff our neighbors to the northeast wake up to tomorrow.  

This is what it looked like out the Lamp Post window late this afternoon.

All this snow is giving me a bit of cabin fever.  I decided to embrace the feeling with a beer instead of trying fight it. I broke from my Friday Rolling Rock tradition to celebrate with this label.  I'm known to stray if the packaging is right.  

This crocus from my mother will help ease that cabin fever a bit.  I found it on my counter when I got home from work today.  According to the language of flowers, the crocus means cheerfulness.  I'll take it.  

Thanks, Mom.

This little guy says the snow shovel's days are numbered.

Prognosticating groundhog Punxsutawney Phil did not see his own shadow at the Pennsylvanian town of Punxsutawney's 127th Groundhog Day - which according to folklore means the forecast of an early spring. (via @Washington Post)

Slovenians, this is the famous Pennsylvania groundhog named Punxatawney Phil.  He predicts the coming of spring every year on February 2nd.  This year he stayed strong and was not scared by his own shadow.  Phil didn't hunker back down in his underground bunker for six more weeks of snoozing.  Instead he predicted an early spring.  Kind of hard to believe right now if you live in Erie.  

Speaking of snoozing, remember this snapshot of Sam from last week?

I thought he was being extra good at Natalie's pageant.  It turns out Sam had a bug.

No, not "the flu" which is commonly used to describe Sam's condition.  The word "flu" is often used interchangeably with any type of wintertime ailment.  A true flu diagnosis has to be lab confirmed.  A flu is usually respiratory in nature.  Sam's bout was completely gastrointestinal, either rotavirus or norovirus.  Prescription:  rest, fluids, and lots of love. 

Sam got very attached to his bucket this past week.
By Day 5, he was thinking of some clever things to do with it.

It made an cool chair, 

for the most part.

Our house still has the lingering smell of bleach.
It cleans up all that stinky brown stuff quite nicely.

Sam was a trooper.  Out of my three children, he is actually my best patient.  He is calmer and just lays around watching TV and plays with his wresting action figures.  

I complimented Sam on being able to hit the bucket nine out of ten times.  "You are growing up, Sam!" I said.   "You are getting to be a big boy now!"

Sam smiled and nodded and said, "I know, I can even block a fart now."

Record scratch.

Should I proceed...........I close my eyes, exhale, and ask the next logical question.

"And what do you mean by that, Sam?" I asked.

"You know, like when you have to block it like at school or in church," Sam stated matter of factly.

Glad to know he's making progress on the scale of social appropriateness.

Now that Sam is beginning to eat again, we are finding here at the Lamp Post that the lower part of his intestines aren't quite right yet.  His butt is anything but sweet.   Sam doesn't employ his blocking skills at home.  He's been clearing rooms, sending everyone running with shirts pulled up over noses.  

No holds barred for his teammates either.  Apparently at wresting practice he cleared an entire mat of 40 kids.  Sam wrestles in a tournament tomorrow and I am worried he is still too weak.  We told him if he gets into trouble on the mat, use his new weapon to weaken his opponent.  He should be walking out of there with a trophy after an hour or so.

All that fart blocking power Sam's been mustering up in Kindergarten must have been on his mind.  Every night we go through his orange folder.  We check his work and look for notes from his teacher.

This is what I found this week:

When asked to explain, Sam simply said they had to write words that "went together."
Sam said, "You know, "look" and "Brooke,"  "but(t)" and "poop."


At least Sam was back to school and I was done dealing with the pukes.


I heard a strange noise from the living room. The dog puked, and then continued to pass gas the entire night.  If you are a pet owner, you know there is NOTHING worse than dog vomit.

This works pretty well.  You can find it at the Dollar Store.

The girls stayed healthy, but Ellen brought some added stress home.  She was studying human reproduction in Science Class.  I had to help her study for a test.  And why don't I remember what in the heck a vas deferens is?!?!?!?!

The funniest moment of my teaching career happened a couple of years ago when a learning support student was receiving some extra study help from a teacher's aide.  They were sitting at a table outside of my classroom, labeling the girl parts on this very worksheet that Ellen had for homework the other night.  When I walked by the pair, the student said to me (quite loudly), "Hey, do you think this looks like a goat?"   I don't know, Readers.  Was he right?

I did feel some sort of small glory this week by putting the very last of the Christmas cards in the mail.  I had it almost all done as I posted a couple of blogs back--but then I lost the stamps.  No worries.  I found them again stuck inside my desk calendar. I always find things I lose.  Whether it is two weeks, two months, or twenty years later, things that are meant to find you again always will.  It's in the laws of the universe.  Eloise's laws, at least.

Because I had to attend to my family, I couldn't even fit in my energizing outdoor workouts with Dr. Krauza and Team.  Exercise always makes me feel so good.  Alas, when life leaves you cleaning up vomit for a week, sometimes all you can do is laugh.

I found this video and I watched it sixteen times last week.  This is Sweet Brown.  She is from Oklahoma City and escaped a fire in her apartment complex last April.  This is her On The Spot interview by her local news team.  Please know, Readers--I am not laughing AT her--I am brightened BY her.  Sweet Brown is so expressive and her eyes dance.  I'd love to attend church with this woman.

Weekend Homework:

  1. Watch the news clip of Sweet Brown (first 30 seconds)
  2. Continue watching to view the song someone made, who obviously had some time for that.
  3. Scroll down to the bonus blog post, Lesson 213 Continued--My video.  This is my own version of something Ain't NOBODY got time for---the pukes!   (Starring Sam).
Have a sweet weekend,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am in tears after reading this...from the laughing

- Ben