Eloise is tired. The merry, merry month of May is anything but in my house. I am a teacher with school aged children at home. The thirty one days bring with it a flood of little league games, dance recitals, field trips, permission slips, report cards, TV show finales, and just about every energy sapping thing a mother can encounter. I X each one off much like an inmate on Alcatraz.
Fatigue brings on mental lapses. Last weekend I heard the beginning of "Mom, can I....." and then my own far away voice answering in the affirmative before I could even process the question. My latest mistake was this:
Sam: Mom, can I buy this with my own money?
Mother Eloise: Sure
**Note to self: Turn around and look at the objects before saying yes.
A bow and arrow AND a slingshot. WHAT WAS I THINKING?
He hasn't taken the corrective actions well when he has been punished for shooting things he shouldn't (me).
It happens to all of us. We all have those lapses in judgment when we do things we shouldn't. But our Super Stars? With all that money, talent, and fame, shouldn't they be able to make better decisions?
Let's take the American Idol Finale Wednesday night, for instance. I look forward to it every year. Eloise loves to in-your-face everyone when I tell them I was right, but I really do love the musical acts. You get to see your season favorites perform with some really big names. Skylar got to perform with Reba McEntire. Phillip sang along with John Fogerty. But Josha got Fantasia.
Fantasia, pictured below on the left has some pipes, meaning vocal cords. I bet you were thinking her legs. If you were, that's okay because I couldn't concentrate on the song (which was a bit screamy for me) because I couldn't take my eyes off of the body suit. Chaka Khan also performed that night wearing a similar body suit.
Even J-Lo joined in the game, although she looks much better. She'll be 43 in July and she's my hero. J-Lo makes 40 and curvy look great. That was my exact hair in 1990. Confident or mental lapse? I guess we'd have to ask them four days post show.
Attire aside, there were some other over the top things as part of the finale.
Steven has a pet sloth?
The corny marriage proposal. How can one propose when Ryan Seacrest is standing behind you with a microphone saying, "Here, let me hold that box."
But the icing on the cake was this woman, Jennifer Holliday. She sang I'm Not Telling You with Jessica Sanchez. Song critique only: Wow. As Randy would say, "You can blow." But this is a rather tame snapshot of Ms. Holliday.
I watched the finale with Ellen and she giggled through most of this song because of Jennifer Holiday's facial expressions. If I had the energy to get my butt off the couch and snag my flip camera I could have also snagged $10,000 in America's Funniest Home Videos.
"Oh Emmm Geee," said Ellen, stressing each letter.
Trying to jump on the opportunity for a teachable moment, I said to Ellen, "Well honey, sometimes people get really into a song. She's just into it, I guess."
"She looks like she is going to eat Jessica," said Ellen in hysterics.
"Now Ellen," I said, "that's not nice."
..."And when she gets done eating her, she'll pick her teeth with Jessica's bones...." said my daughter who inherited my weird wit.
Even J-Lo and Randy looked a bit put off by the performance.
And speaking of Randy, what was with the lapel pins all season?
Eloise says, "Dawg! What's goin' on?" I guess the west coast considers them works of art. Those of us living on the Northern Shore just don't get it.
And since we're on the topic of artwork----I've included some prizewinners from Sam this week. Eloise will make this fun for you. Consider it a game. Games are fun. Especially on Memorial Day weekend. Heck with Corn Hole. Let's play Guess the Artwork instead.
Here's your first one:
No, I didn't fish this out of the potty. It is not a dog dropping. Guess and record your answer on a sheet of paper.
What are you thinking? Shame on you. Again, write down your guess on a piece of paper so I know you didn't cheat.
I found both of these three dimensional objects laying on the kitchen counter when I came home from work one day this week. Sam was out in the tree house, so I had some time to ponder what the heck these things were before I actually asked him. My thoughts ranged from the creative to the uncomfortable. Kind of like the Idol show on Wednesday.
Here are two more clues from different angles that may help you out:
#1--A cocoon. There are three cotton balls stuffed inside of that brown paper--whew!
#2--A sea creature. I looked at the creation upside down. WHEW! Actually had to wipe the sweat from my brow over that one.
Have a splendid weekend, Readers. More than a million soldiers have died fighting for our country to date. Let's not let their deaths be in vain. Remember and memorialize.