Lesson 151: Come Home

See that tippy top window, Readers?  That's the Lamp Post.  That is where I am sitting right now.  It is where I sit when I write.  The Lamp Post is the one area of my house that I've designated as my own.  Stephen, my computer is plugged in and humming on the other side of that window you see.  The Lamp Post, Stephen my updated computer, and Faraday my now deceased computer are all named in honor of my favorite TV show LOST.

The Lamp Post was the Los Angeles Dharma station that Eloise Hawking was in charge of keeping.  We found out later in the series it controlled time.  Eloise in the series was a bit like Mrs. Who from A Wrinkle in Time.  Her son was Daniel Faraday, who found the island because of his supreme understanding of math and physics.  Eloise killed her own son when Faraday traveled back through time and found his mother as a younger woman.  Killer episode, literally and figuratively--Season 5, episode 14.  (Told you I know this show inside and out).  After my computer Faraday died, I named my new one Stephen after the real Stephen Hawking--the real life physicist who the LOST writers used as a basis for some of the story line.  See the next post for his picture.

Beneath that window you see is a window seat.  I like to tilt back in my leather office chair and put my feet up on it during moments of inspiration.  I keep my music collection here, a shelf of very favorite books, my Coke can collection, and my LOST memorabilia. The Lamp Post is littered with notes and drafts and post it notes (my favorite) and art work made by my children.  It's the place I call HOME.

The video is set to the song Home by the new American Idol winner, Phillip Phillips.  Move over Carrie Underwood.  Phil just slid into the top spot as the singer of my favorite summer song.  To dethrone Carrie is no easy feat.  Great tune.  Just my kind of music.  Phil has that growly undertone to his voice which I love.  He's been compared to Dave Matthews, but he's better.   A Georgian with a heavy southern drawl and a quirky performance style make for the perfect combo on this one.  It connects to you.  Give it a listen.

While you are enjoying the tune, you will see some things that make my house a home.  A little peek inside the Lamp Post.  My daughter Ellen wants to give you a real look inside The Lamp Post.  She begs me every day for her own blog she wants to title Life Inside the Lamp Post:  The Truth From an Insider.  She claims it is to practice her writing.  The wise old mare that I am knows that her blog could be retaliatory in nature for all the posts I write about her.  I don't really know if there is an age requirement for Blogger, and I didn't bother looking.  I told her that when she scores advanced on the Pennsylvania State Writing Assessment, we'll talk. Although Ellen is an extremely good student, it is very hard to score advanced on this test.  Usually only one or two kids out of a school are awarded an Advanced score.  Then, as a mother sometimes does, I forgot all about it.

Come April, it was test time.  I noticed Ellen was preparing for these tests as if she was training for the London Olympics.  She was willingly going to bed and eating breakfasts for a solid week--two things she does not do without harping by Mother Eloise.  At the end of a long testing week, I picked her up from school on a Friday and told her she could pick a dinner from my town's Fast Food Alley as a treat for all of her diligence and hard work.  Ellen smiled and chose Arby's.  We rode in silence for a little while lost in thoughts of the upcoming weekend.  She then said while staring out the window, "I sure hope I get an Advanced........I've been thinking about what my first post will be......"

My fingers tightened around the steering wheel.  Play it cool, Eloise.  Don't react.  She'll know she's got you scared and against the ropes.  "I sure hope you do it, Ellen.  You have a gift. We'll have to wait until September to see if Oz down in Harrisburg recognizes it." Lie. Lie. Lie.  Mental images of unflattering photos of me, twisted conversations, and audio of me snoring flash through my mind.  I concentrate on the road so I don't wreck the van.  


My day of reckoning is coming.  What goes around comes around.  One day she'll have her own blog, no doubt.  It's the way of the world and I cannot stop it.  She will also soon be spending more time with her friends on weekends than with me.  She'll first seek the advice of Emily before bouncing an idea off of Mom.  And one day, she'll graduate and leave the Lamp Post to find her own fortune.  But while I have all three of them home, I enjoy every minute.  The truth is if I only had a tent on this property, but had my three children inside with me, that would be all I would ever need.

Soon, my trio will be with me day in and day out, home together all summer long.  I will quickly stop sniveling at the thought of them leaving someday as I yearn for a little Me Time.  In order for all of us to get along and maintain some sort of routine, the Summer Rules go into effect today.  They are posted on the kitchen cupboards.  See the next post for the photos as proof that I actually do this.  Feel free to swipe this.  No copyright here.  Mothers--this will save you this summer.  See below:


         Non negotiables

 Things you must do because you are part of this family—no reward or recognition given for the following tasks:

  

·      Make bed

·      Brush teeth

·      Put away your laundry

·      Feed/water dog

·      Unload groceries

·      Dishwasher

Opportunities

25 cent earning opportunities for motivated children—paid in full when task completed to parental satisfaction

·       Water garden/flowers

·       Fold & put away towels

·       Dust a room

·       Vacuum a room

·       Straighten shoes and coats

·       Clean out a drawer

·       Clean potty

·       1 lap around track

·       50 sit ups

·       20 push ups

·       Read for 15 minutes

·       Any other job deemed worthy of a quarter

Fines

Children are subject to monetary fines for the following penalties—paid in full by child at time of infraction

·       Screaming any of the following phrases: 

o     you idiot

o     you’re stupid

o     you cheated

o     I quit

·       Arguing with an adult

·       Non verbal gestures of disrespect:

o     Eye rolling

o     Clicking of the tongue

o     Crossing arms

o     Foot stomping

o     Gestures of the hand and fist

·       Punching an unaware

·       Belching at the dinner table

·       Public flatulence

·       Writing potty words in the driveway with sidewalk chalk

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can't get this font to change back.  Time to move on to the picture post.  See next post for more pictures.  Damn this blogger!  Stupid formatting!  The people who set this up are idiots!  I quit this blog!  WHOOOOOOPS!  Looks like I have to go pay my fines.  A buck already and my day just started.

Have a great weekend, readers.  See below for more pictures.

ELOise